Main Campus Disaster

Ok....some of you who know me, know that I possess a "big city" phobia of sorts. No I'm not afraid of big cities per se, I actually love going downtown to fun events (Go Browns) and nice dinners. However, when it involves everyday life and running errands, I get huge anxiety when it involves a "downtown" of any sort. Somehow there is always some sort of traffic jam, getting lost, random pan handler, parking nightmare whenever I embark on a downtown errand. A few specific examples come to mind, but my interview at UH stands out for some reason. I decided to live out my dream of doing pediatric anesthesia and applied for a position at UH. I left with what I thought was plenty of time to arrive early, but after sitting on Carnegie Rd at 9 billion traffic lights, I quickly watched time slip away. If you know me, I'm very type A and cannot stand to be late for anything, let alone an interview. I'll shorten up the story with I ended up having to park on floor 15 of the parking garage (aka roof) in the pouring rain and frantically called the interviewer (5 minutes late) and asked him to just come find me. My dream of doing peds anesthesia quickly turned into a nightmare and the situation ended with me politely withdrawing my application on the way out the door and realizing there was no way I could work there when I could barely handle showing up for an interview. Since then...I've been known to drive an extra 35 minutes to get an ultrasound done if it means I can avoid main campus.

Where am I going with this? Well...my paranoid type A self has been known to diagnose my kids with a few different issues/diseases. Ive been told by my pediatrician to stop "googling", "WebMDing" and "Go back to work" before. So once again...a little paranoia + "google.com" created disaster in the Moore household. Next thing you know I am convinced Macie is cross-eyed as I scrutinize every move she makes. I decided to take matters into my own hands since my pediatrician thought I was crazy shrugged off the idea that Macie had an issue. Knowing I had the week off, I made a bunch of calls to make her an appointment with the eye doctor. Of course I did everything I could to avoid main campus, but with the time frame I had...it was un-avoidable. And of course google.com said "Best outcome with earliest intervention", so this was some sort of emergency in my mind.

So last night I started mentally gearing up to go down town. I packed our bags (they said the apt could last 2 hrs so I wanted to be prepared) and made a plan to leave an hour early so if I hit any snags, frustration would be at a minimum. I plugged in the address into my GPS and off we went. Everything besides the traffic jam/car accident on I-90 seemed to be going smoothly until we got off on Carnegie Rd. I could feel my heart rate rising as I started hitting each traffic light. There are signs posted everywhere about how all the lights are monitored by cameras. Now if you know anything about main campus Cleveland Clinic it's a little bit like this...
Exhibit A

 

Ok I'm exaggerating a little bit (not really). So of course when my GPS prompted me to make a wrong turn twice, I was in a very not good place in Cleveland. SO I decided to scrap the whole GPS thing and take things into my own hands. I decided to just start looking up in the sky at the 9000 Cleveland Clinic buildings to see if any of them said "Eye" on them. The lady on the phone said it was "well marked". As I'm trudging along....I find myself in this situation. 

Exhibit B

 

So where do you think I ended up? Of course...in the RTA Bus only lane. I was sandwiched between 2 RTA buses and a cement barrier and starting to get worried that some random was going to try and open the door thinking it was an RTA bus.

Finally I got myself out of that mess and was greeted by a big sign that said "Cole Eye Institute". I'm finally in the clear with 5 minutes to spare right??? WRONG! As I pull up to the parking garage, a lady walks up and says "Sorry were full!, just make a left, a right, another left, 2 lights down and a right, and you can park there for free!" I roll my eyes and try to remember how many lefts and rights I needed to make. I finally find the parking garage, and have to drive around in circles for 7 floors until we get to the ...yep....roof! Of course...it was pouring rain again. I was having deja vu of my UH interview experience, except this time I have a little baby that I have to drag through the pouring rain as well. I load up the baby in the rain and start running towards the nearest shelter so I can try to find my way back to the "Cole Eye Institute". Now if you know anything about the Cleveland Clinic..you know it looks like this.

Exhibit C

 

 SO here I am, soaking wet and running through the 9 billion skyways like a lunatic trying to find my way back to the Cole Eye Institute. I guess I can't complain too much since it was better than doing it in the rain, but I felt like I was on the amazing race. I'm surprised I didnt alert the Cleveland Clinic Security since I was running as fast as I could through these "skyways". So as I'm trying to avoid having an MI (heart attack for you laymen), I finally arrive to my destination....17 minutes late! I decided that I didn't care if Macie was cross-eyed the rest of her life, I was NEVER going back there she was perfect in my eyes. Awww! 

The story has a happy ending though. The doctor said I am crazy Macie is perfectly healthy and she just has a wide bridged nose (another thing she can thank me for later). I count my blessings everytime I think there is something wrong with one of my kids and I walk out with a perfect bill of health. I always say a little prayer for those parents that will get some other unexpected type of news from leaving that office. I truly am grateful for healthy kids, but next time, I will try harder to avoid going downtown. Even if it means I have to drive to the countryside somewhere. The End!